Monday, June 11, 2012

Fake ID's [evil geek]

Everyone knows that buying fake identification in a movie requires you to meet a shady Russian guy in an alley, and nervously exchange money for questionable goods and very possibly a stab wound.



But what about real life? Is it actually possible in today's high tech world to get a fake id?

In short, pretty much...



Half the time the fake ID has a hilarious name, picture, or some other nonsense. Rendering it almost useless, except as a plot device for teen coming of age stories.

Just act natural... He can tell you are legit!


The other half of the the fake papers you need are perfect forgeries. You need them because are being hunted by mercenaries and corrupt government agents and god only knows who else. You just gotta get out of the country and disappear... now if you can just get past the Soviet border patrol...

Oh, just a normal day in Russia...
Feeling confident about that fake Serbian ID?


As it turns out we live in the modern age.
An age where we no longer buy illegal stuff from weird dudes in shady alleys.
Instead we buy our illegal crap from shady dudes on the internet!


15 year old buys fake id online...
thinks he is a badass...



There are a few websites dedicated to churning out fake identification to anyone with a credit card and a pulse. It is actually pretty hilariously easy to get one!


Payment

What? You don't have a credit card?
You must be like 12 years old!
Let me see some ID...
My apologies Dr. Spiderman! It says here that you are four hundred and twelve... no wonder you don't have a credit card. That was before credit was invented...

But seriously, the right way to do this would be using a prepaid debit card with a major logo.
Greendot is always a good choice



STFU and tell me where to get the booze license!

Where to get the goods

Fluxcard offers a few designs for almost no money; prices are around $10-20USD. The drawback is that none of their designs are real. They are all made up cards with made up names. It would be as silly as asking them to print you a Booze-a-hol inspection badge and expecting anyone to give you free drinks or take you seriously at all.

What is it good for then?

You might get lucky and trick the 14 year old checkout clerk at the grocery store into selling you cigarettes with your US Secret Service id card.


That bitch will be shitting their pants when they see your license to kill!


In closing... these are cheap... you get what you can afford.
If you are going to pull off a caper with one of these, you will also need to own a massive pair of testicles and Clint Eastwood's soul piercing poker face.


ID-Chief
ID-chief is the most "un-shady" company I could find that actually seems to sell US identification replicas.

Seriously awesome company...


"These ids are to be used for movie production or other types of novelty things. do not break the laws with these we can not be held responsible if you do."

"The spring break is coming! Students from across the world get ready for travelling and having fun in your favorite restaurants and bars with your new ID!"



The spring break is coming!
And it looks like a doosey...


Broken English aside, they do seem like they will send you a decent id card replica.
They use the UV dye, clear windows, etc. that are present on real id cards. The magnetic strips work if swiped through a reader machine and display all info properly.

These are the real deal. The sweet stuff. Your ticket to feeling like a badass... a fake id that will finally fool someone!

The cost you ask?
  • 1 person = $200
    • Gets you an original and a duplicate in case you lose yours during drunken shenanigans.
  • 2 people = $400
    • Gets you the same deal as above except that you have a friend to go to jail with.
  • 3 people = $300
    • You and your buddy find a fat kid who needs some friends... this secures you a discount.
    • Gets you the same as above, but there will be a 50% discount per person!
    • Also gets you a second cellmate! 
      • FACT: Fat cellmates make you look less weak!
  • 4 people = $400
    • Exactly like the 3 person deal but now you and your idiot friend can blow money on getting id's  for two hot ladies too!

"Thanks for getting me in here..."
(poof*  - le hawt gurl vanishes)
Welcome to adulthood assface! HAHA!
How does that $400 failure feel!


That's all there is to it!
For whatever reason you might want it, you can order a possibly great looking fake id on the internet!

Sure, ID Chief was all over the news a few months ago for being an overseas identity theft ring. BUT! The police investigators involved did go on the record to say that the id's received were good enough to to fool the border patrol and airport security agents! So, the moral of the story is to use a prepaid card and not to give out your sensitive information when ordering. Which seems totally possible given that the order form asks for none of it!

Verdict: GO FOR IT!
It's only two hundred bucks! That's three days of work at minimum wage... your nerdy ass can afford it to try and garner some much needed cool factor...

3 comments:

  1. That's exactly correct. Fake ids are very rare to have unless you know some business companies that offer this certain work. But, apart from your needs of having your own fake ids, you may try to use novelty. In there you will see your needs regarding these stuffs. Hope you will find it useful too.

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